I just read an article in Elle Canada entitled “The “alpha girl” has evolved”. It talks about certain girls’ popularity in high school and who they become in adult life, especially with the help of social media nowadays. Yet, the article tackles the topic with a twist, because the popular girls we knew when we were teenagers are NOT the real alpha girls in the world today.
One passage of the article says: “[…] The new alphas are nerdy and interesting and have an appeal based on more than aspirational glossiness. What makes them cool is their individuality. So, unlike the traditional alphas, who want you to copy them and compare yourself to them, the message the alpha 2.0 sends is that you should be yourself. […] today’s alpha is one who is proudly herself.” Amen to that!
First of all, I couldn’t agree more. Second of all, I’d like to go on and express my own opinion on this subject.
Back in our past, as well as in the present days, we were and we are influenced by appearances (thanks a lot, beauty magazines and social media!). We work so hard on growing as human beings, on learning new things, but also on trying to be liked by others. We go through emotional whirlwinds trying to belong and fit into this world, that we let go of the only true and beautiful thing we have – ourselves! We long so much to be like someone else: like that girl who exudes confidence, like that guy who can negotiate as if it was a matter of nothing, like that man who drives a Maserati when you stop next to him at the traffic lights, like that lady who wears brand clothes and smells like someone who lives in a penthouse and never does her groceries alone, like that model who seems to have it all and looks effortlessly beautiful. And the list goes on. We never seem to keep up with life, because we concentrate so much on being someone we are not. We see these “successful” people everywhere and we want to be just like them, when, in fact, we have no idea how much more we are capable of. And the irony in all that is, that these “successful” people are, to their own extent, looking up to someone else too and trying their hardest to fit in.
In life, we are labelled as “not cool enough”, “not smart enough”, “stupid”, “not pretty enough”, “not fit”(physically and metaphorically), but is this really true? We let people tell us what to do and how to act, but… in whose interest? These labels, themselves, are they relevant, do they apply to us? For who aren’t we cool enough? Who says that we’re not pretty enough, and for what? Where do we not fit in? Is there a standard for all this?
People, just look around you! The world is a whole place full of wonders, full of people who are so different and so beautiful, that they all stand out in this universe. Because we are all unique and special! Because there’s no standard for anything in this world, and we are the ones to limit ourselves to all the things we believe we should or should not be. The reality, though, is that we are all unstoppable if we only try to look over the “glass”.
The society is always cruel. There are countless people who think they are better than anyone else, people who like to see other people fail, others who like to think that they dominate this world and the people in their circle of life, and those who think that they’re entitled to everything in this life. To me, this is pure arrogance, no less than that! And you know why? Because this kind of people make the smart ones doubt themselves and feel unworthy, while being, actually, the ones rotten inside. The “alpha” thing – that’s all a facet. It’s a lie they tell themselves every day to be able to go on as confident as always when they are fighting their own demons deep inside.
The real “alpha” is the one who is true to oneself, lives life mindfully and expects nothing of nobody, but thrives to live in harmony with this world. The real “alpha” is the one who makes mistakes and is never afraid to admit to them; the one who is definitely not perfect, but is learning every day to evolve to a better self; the one who doesn’t think of him/herself as the king/queen of the world, but “rules” this world hand-in-hand with the others; the one that lives life truthfully and is genuine 100%, no matter what.
You see, among so much fakeness around us, we might just use a little more realness, as cliché as it might sound. And I’m saying this not because I’m this or that, but because I think we could all use some real emotions out there. When we go out, we see so many people mean to each other, people using other people for their own benefit, people talking behind each other’s backs – and I’m so tired of this! Most of the days, I just wish I could hold a deep conversation with an acquaintance just because, I wish I could discuss real life with people going through the same things as I do, again – just because. We are so many in this world, but we are so lonely! We hide from each other as if we don’t understand each other, when, matter-of-factly, we all have the same emotions! Isn’t this insane?! We build families and societies based on some assumptions in our minds, but it’s all so much simpler than we think.
You might say that this has nothing to do with the “alpha” topic I have started, but I think it does. Because the labels the society puts on us, and the pressure we go through every day, is, in fact, impacting our lives greatly. I might not be the smartest in this world, but one thing I’m extremely good at is being HUMAN. And so, I believe in everybody’s individuality and I will never understand or support those who think they are better than anybody else around them.
My final appeal to you is – never let anybody influence your life, except yourself! Grow into who you want to be because you’re too amazing for this world. Let go of the idea of being somebody else, because you have your own talents and looks, and you’re unique (and, most probably, there’s somebody else in this world that wants to be you or envies you for who you are and what you have). Don’t be afraid to be you! Labels don’t apply to you. And they never will…