I Admit It – I’m Tired

I feel like being real with you today. I’m tired. I don’t talk about that level of tired where all I need is a good night sleep and a weekend to unwind, but rather, I speak about that tiredness that has been going on for almost a year and I don’t know how to make it better at this point.

The past 2 weeks were the cherry on top of my cake called “Life”. I can’t remember the last time I felt this hopeless, tired, frustrated, angry, anxious, stressed, uncertain, unstable and volatile as I did lately. Was it maybe some 5 years ago? Anyways, the point is that no matter how hard I try to stay positive, this sh*t is just not happening and things don’t seem to move forward for me now, but rather I go through daily setbacks that bring me lower than I want to go.

So, thinking about my situation a little better (and I believe being mature makes things easier to look at from a different angle), and trying to follow my own tips that I’ve written for you in the past (and don’t say I don’t follow them, because this is my official commitment to you that I do and I will!), here goes my plan to get myself out of this emotional whirlwind that doesn’t do any good to me or my beloved ones.

  • Take time to take all the feelings in, aka allow myself “to feel”

As I said before, as easy at it sounds, it’s actually a very hard thing to do. This exercise involves a lot of self-awareness, self-control, social awareness, understanding the situation(s) from the point of view of all parties involved, let the emotions run through the body, understand the pros and cons of one thing or another, think of possible solutions and scenarios, and then – finally – make up your mind about how you should actually feel about the whole thing happening. Not easy, I know.

  • Give myself a break

I think it’s time for me to take a day off from my daily course-running. When situations get too overwhelming, the best move will be to make no move. All I have to do is just stop for a day or two, let things flow naturally, and see if the things will fall back to their places, or if they will calm down a bit (and, in 99% of the cases, they do, so let’s keep the hopes up!).

  • Don’t take any decisions

No matter the way I feel right now, I won’t take any critical decisions, because they will be based on some kind of emotional bias. One day is different from another, and if today I feel like I don’t care, I may decide to give up on something I don’t want to. But if I feel angry, I may also say things that will hurt and will be hard to repair later on. Therefore, no decisions for me now, please.

  • Focus on what matters

Similar to “always remember your final goal” that I love to use in my posts, “focus on what matters” directs my vision away from the negativity populating some of my days and rather makes me focus on what brings me joy, balance and future growth or movement. Throughout the years, I learnt to understand what is most important in my life, and even if a little challenging, I am able to re-calibrate myself towards what I believe will help me cope with the situation at hand.

  • Me-time

Oohhhh, the famous “me-time”! My favorite one! You don’t know this (but I do), but I literally have almost no time to have a life outside my life and this tip can be sooooo meaningless for me right now. Yet, the me-time part here resumes not necessarily to a full or half-day of me being alone without my family and not working, but it actually is that time, even if only 1 hour a day, when I get to do the things I love the most – like writing a blog post, or reading a book on the train on my way to work.

 And I don’t know why I always stop at 3 or 5 tips, but I definitely know that, through this post, I wanted to share with you something that has been hard to admit, but I believe was worth saying. Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of courage and willingness to make things better. And so, if you go through similar situations that bring you down and make you feel like you can’t take it anymore, I hope this blog post will give you some inspiration to stop, take a break, think a little, and start acting for a better tomorrow, even if doesn’t work right away. And you know what, who said that things should always start working in an instant? It’s OK if they don’t, the only thing that matters is that we keep on trying. Failure is not the end goal and I’m not even trying to avoid it, but getting better at doing life is a great goal – so I’ll take that to go.

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